you're my summer babe

i miss winter. so much.

i'd feel so special once again

i wonder if people keep their college ids once they graduate. i think i'm going to. every now and then when i rustle around my backpack i find an old high school id. why i keep it i have no idea.

i was reading a story i had written for my creative writing class in september and it felt like i took that class YEARS ago. and i couldn't believe that events in the story happened a year ago. almost to the day. it's insane. the memories are so strong for me and i kind of hate that. last sunday when p and i went to get ice cream we got on 88 and it just brought me back to that night last year. it was clear and chilly and i had my feet on the dashboard and as we got closer to our exit i didn't want to get off.

it's one of those nights i want to stay up late talking to someone. i have no one to do that with though.

i'm already tired of being at home.

saying goodbye to good friends is tough

we stood in mills near a garbage can after we bought an odd assortment of food. milanos and a nestle bar for me; bananas, soy chips, goldfish, cheese, and cereal for him. he said "i don't want to make a big deal out of this" and i said "i'm going to cry." we hugged, our first real hug since i can't remember. and we walked in different directions looking back at each other waving. i started crying. i'm really, really going to miss him.

ok now it's hit me that these are my finals days here with everyone else. june doesn't count.
i almost screamed in the shower last night. and i decided i will not let him upset me. I WILL NOT. good job. here we go, friday night.

a few years ago i had a person on my livejournal friend's list whose user name was "leftnleaving." he went to vassar and during my winter break from college he suggested we meet up. i met him at a pool hall along with about five of my friends. for some odd reason i think we freaked him out because he never spoke to me again after that. i was listening to the weakerthans last night and came across the song "left & leaving" and i wondered what "leftnleaving" was up to.

all day affair

yeah i have a final on friday THE THIRTEENTH, not that i'm suspicious or anything, and yes that is the same day this goddamn band is getting back together and i'll have to see the two men that have been very important to me for two completely different reasons and both give me mixed feelings. one of which i don't think i'm ready to see but the night will be fun anyway. i should be studying for this stupid test and i should've called my financial aid advisor a month ago and what is UP with my damn summer housing situation? i'm too lazy for my own good and i want to go to wal mart and the bank and the liquor store tomorrow which is practically an all day affair. i'm bra-less and listening to built to spill and this could only be better if it were snowing outside and my friend was over.

claque

whenever i hear a song that blows me away or actually HEAR a song for the first time i always want to share it with someone. that's kind of been lame these past few months. JR really liked "car" when i sent it to him, PM didn't. last night P asked me to play that song i played for him in october, he was talking about "none but the lonely heart" by tchaikovsky. when he heard it in october he made fun of it because there was one part that sounded like "cock" to him and he was like "what the hell is this?? COCK???" it's in russian, i think the song is amazing. we didn't get to the song last night, he insulted me pretty good. i put on my wilco dvd and tried not to cry, he put my headphones on and stayed at my computer. i went to the bathroom to wipes my eyes and missed almost the whole performance of "not for the season." i really do hate it when i get mad at him. i miss BP.